Speechless

I had just finished a delivery to Waterloo and was returning to Hwy 401 via a 2 lane road which was backed up with bumper-to-bumper traffic, all behind a heavily overloaded pickup truck which was wending its way at a top speed of 60 kph.

Eventually, with cars passing this mobile chicane and turning off onto other roads in frustration, I was able to get close enough to read the license plate OLD.BERT

"Old Bert!" I exclaimed, that's my brother-in-law, the millionaire farmer!"

I watched as he slowed, then stopped in front of an impressive home in Westmount, where a refrigerator stood alongside a paved driveway. I thought it looked pretty good for a fridge to be scrapped and sent to recycle, but stranger things have happened on Bert's Monday morning salvage hunt for items for which he would be paid at the scrap dealer.

Bert had a problem with this one. It was too big to fit in the remaining room in the truck, and too heavy for him to hoist. He gave his pal Jack, who rode shotgun, a knowing look and Jack immediately passed a sledgehammer through the open window.

With two mighty blows the door went flying, hinges torn asunder. Going to the back of the unit, he took more swings at the compressor unit, and refrigerant suddenly exploded wildly from a ruptured hose.

Turning to Jack he smiled, "Looks like this is one unit we won't have to pay to have an environmental vacuum!"

With the compressor motor and the door removed, Bert was able to lift the items into the truck and tie them into place with an old electrical cord.

As he was about to leave, he turned and was surprised to note a person staring at him from the driveway, a look of astonishment on his face. With his snappy blue coveralls, he looked like an installation or maintenance person. He had a dollie. The label on his uniform said "Sears".

"Sir" he said, "I just went up the driveway a couple of minutes ago to dispose of the cardboard and wooden skid and was returning to pick up this brand new state of the art fridge, for which our customer has just paid $3,000. Do you have any suggestions as to what I can tell him?"

For the first time in the 44 years I have known him, in spite of a notorious fluency which matches that of Trudeau, Clinton or Obama, Bert stood staring open mouthed, uncomprehending and speechless.