Speechless

I had just finished a delivery to Waterloo and was returning to Hwy 401 via a 2 lane road which was backed up with bumper-to-bumper traffic, all behind a heavily overloaded pickup truck which was wending its way at a top speed of 60 kph.

Eventually, with cars passing this mobile chicane and turning off onto other roads in frustration, I was able to get close enough to read the license plate OLD.BERT

"Old Bert!" I exclaimed, that's my brother-in-law, the millionaire farmer!"

I watched as he slowed, then stopped in front of an impressive home in Westmount, where a refrigerator stood alongside a paved driveway. I thought it looked pretty good for a fridge to be scrapped and sent to recycle, but stranger things have happened on Bert's Monday morning salvage hunt for items for which he would be paid at the scrap dealer.

Bert had a problem with this one. It was too big to fit in the remaining room in the truck, and too heavy for him to hoist. He gave his pal Jack, who rode shotgun, a knowing look and Jack immediately passed a sledgehammer through the open window.

With two mighty blows the door went flying, hinges torn asunder. Going to the back of the unit, he took more swings at the compressor unit, and refrigerant suddenly exploded wildly from a ruptured hose.

Turning to Jack he smiled, "Looks like this is one unit we won't have to pay to have an environmental vacuum!"

With the compressor motor and the door removed, Bert was able to lift the items into the truck and tie them into place with an old electrical cord.

As he was about to leave, he turned and was surprised to note a person staring at him from the driveway, a look of astonishment on his face. With his snappy blue coveralls, he looked like an installation or maintenance person. He had a dollie. The label on his uniform said "Sears".

"Sir" he said, "I just went up the driveway a couple of minutes ago to dispose of the cardboard and wooden skid and was returning to pick up this brand new state of the art fridge, for which our customer has just paid $3,000. Do you have any suggestions as to what I can tell him?"

For the first time in the 44 years I have known him, in spite of a notorious fluency which matches that of Trudeau, Clinton or Obama, Bert stood staring open mouthed, uncomprehending and speechless.

Tri2Win takes on the Classics

Never to be confused with the Canadian National Cross Country Ski Team's Ivan Babikov (left) or Devon Kershaw (right) I nevertheless continue to train for the upcoming 12k Colpoy's Loppet in Wiarton January 25 and Deep River's 15k Silver Spoon on February 7. Both are classic races. Today, following 15 cm of powder snow being meticulously groomed by Ross Martin of the Mono Nordic Ski Club in Orangeville, I did 6 loops of 1.5k each, persevering until the start of 'Don's Downer' - a steep uphill for cardio heroes only - where I took the Kid's Cutoff and returned to the viaduct over the pond. The Toko Red wax on my Peltonen skating skis gripped like a Tim Horton bearhug and flew like a puck slapped by superstar Cory Hodgson of the Canadian Juniors, the glide allowing at least some recovery between the constant demands of the course.

My target in both events is simple: Do better than last year. Considering I missed the wax in both races by a factor of 9, and was either entertaining or recovering from a cold, this humble target should be achievable.

Should conditions remain powdery, I will continue to warm up on Win Nordic, the 750m track which winds around our property, proceeding past Sebbie's Rink, through the still-weedy garden, by the frozen compost and under the maple tree, the crucial branch draped with a red bow as a warning to, "Keep your head down, dude!"

Like all of you, there's too much on the plate this early into the new year - purchasing a new truck for PTM Courier, upgrading the Pine Rock Cottage Vacations website and continuing to winterize the cottage in order to fill it with clients. And like you, I'll muddle thru with varying degrees of success in all these endeavours.

Happy 2009!